There are two things for certain in life, death and taxes. I have to disagree. There is a third variable that is a certainty in all of our lives and that is change. Change is inevitable and for some change can be liberating, for others change may bring about stress for many different reasons.
I am currently going through a major change at work and am finding it quite challenging not to let this change stress me out. One of the magical lessons taught by Susuan Jeffers in her book “Feel the fear and do it anyway” is that we should just nod our heads and say “yes”.
“So often we are all set to move in a specific direction, an unexpected event changes everything.
Those unexpected events or even the possibility of the unexpected sets us up for a great deal of fear. We anticipate the worst.” Susan Jeffers
It is important to remember that saying yes is our way of agreeing to what life hands us and prevent ourselves from becoming a victim of circumstance. By saying yes we agree to let the universe open up new possibilities that we may not have seen before. I have always thought that I stood in the “adaptable” group of outliers. It turns out, I’m just as scared of change and new things as I ever was. It no longer scares me to make new friends and meet new people. Rejection is no longer a fear and I find myself being a lot more calm and happy about life until recently when a large change came about at work.
I think with life experience comes a certain amount of trepidation as most of the change in my life has resulted in something happening that is less than desirable but I find myself wondering whether these less than desirable results have been a culmination of pessimism and fear or whether the changes really did bring about problems. I have had a lot of “life experience”, more than I would wish upon anybody at my age but at the same time, had none of those tough times happened, I would certainly not be the person I am today and would not have had the chance to experience so many new and wonderful things that have happened due to the winds of change.
When I fear something, I find reading and researching about the thing that scares me makes me feel a lot more calm and in control. So I have done the research to calm my nerves and have compiled my 3 step action plan to help me adjust to this period of change.
Choose your thoughts and attitude towards change
How I choose to look at this change is going to greatly affect my attitude towards the change. I can either look at this as being scary and not what I want or I can be grateful for the opportunity that these changes will bring. The sooner I get my attitude in the right place, the easier the assimilation into the change will be. There are some changes in life that we do not have control over but we do have control over our reactions to these changes. In order to do this I need to keep a journal and everyday write three things I am grateful for that this change has brought about.
Learn to relax
Our bodies are incredibly in tune with our emotions and thoughts. Perpetual negative thoughts are going to harm us and if I want to learn to deal with change better, I need to learn to relax. I need to do things that make me feel happy, uplifted and good about myself. Pilates, spending time with friends and family, event planning, writing, baking and doing makeup all relax me. I need to up these activities when change is on the horizon, not only to keep me busy but to keep me firmly planted in a positive mind space.
Communicate your feelings with your trusted support structure
Many sources have advised that to cope with change, it always helps to voice your feelings informally or formally in either a journal format or through discussion with a trusted friend or spouse. I find it incredibly hard to voice my negative opinions as I always worry that I will be viewed as being negative and moaning. I suppose I have to learn to trust my support system that they are there to listen, care and perhaps may even surprise me with a way of looking at the change as a new opportunity I previously didn’t see.
Change is always going to have an element of fear that comes with the territory. We are all given the freedom of choice in every action we take and I choose to accept this change and all the ups and downs that come with it. What I need to focus on is that no matter what life throws at me, I will find a way to deal with it. With time and a few positive thoughts, magical things will continue to happen. It is much easier to write this than actually put this into action but here it goes…I am feeling the fear and doing it anyway!
Till Next Time
Keeping it real while I embrace change